S.O.S. Please Send Baby Dust

"There's an emptiness inside her. And she'll do anything to fill it in. But all the colors mix together to grey and it breaks her heart. How she wishes it was different, she prays to God most every night. And though she swears it doesn't listen. There's still a hope in her it might." ♪♫




Lately I have felt as though I am never home.  I am constantly exhausted, although I'm not really getting any less sleep than I was before and I'm really only gone about 10 hours more than usual.  Maybe it's all of the second shift hours that I've been working lately that makes me feel like I'm dying.  Either way, I'm really struggling tonight.

My husband and I have finally come to the conclusion that yes, we do want more children.  The problem here is.... when are we supposed to make these children?  Forget PCOS, forget the exhaustion....we are never home at the same time! It's pretty common knowledge that two people need to be in the same room in order to make babies. At this point I'm just so frustrated.

It's now 12:30 and I have to be up at 5am to pick Tim up from work.  Luckily I have the day off....but it really doesn't seem that way because I have a ton of laundry to do and I've fallen behind on house cleaning...to say the least. I've inhaled so much caffiene to keep me up and moving in the past few days, I might just be one big ball of "blah" by now.  This is definitely not helping in our TTC....but then again we're never home together so I guess it doesn't really matter anyways.


It's 1 am and I am "down in it" tonight.  Brains spinning around, anxiety threatening to spew over, and so overly exhausted that I cannot sleep.  Can I just get one night with my husband?  I'd give just about anything to snuggle up right about now.