Day 2, cycle 2.

I am not sure if it is because I'm now a lot more active because of my job or what but this is the second cycle I've had in two months.  You read that right.... two in two months! Two days shot of being dead on from last month. And no medicine taken. :)

I do have to say, after a year with no cycles and just laying low.... I don't remember my ovaries hurting so badly! Last weekend I was having waves of pain so I decided to take a pregnancy test worrying about a tubal pregnancy.  Of course it was negative....they're always negative. (Apparently so am I, lol.) Then I hit day 1 so I figure after 1 year of laying dormant my organs are like a rusted machine squeaking inside. Lovely imagery isn't it?

Either way, rusted out or not..... I'm celebrating! I have never in my life had two cycles back to back without being on birth control or Cloumid.  If you don't have pcos or infertility issues you're probably thinking.... "Uhm okay..." and rolling your eyes right now.  But, for a woman that has been ttc for 5 years and has been one and off fertility medications...this is a small victory! Or, a great big shinning sign from my higher power.

Now that the ball is rolling...bring on days 12 through 15!!

S.O.S. Please Send Baby Dust

"There's an emptiness inside her. And she'll do anything to fill it in. But all the colors mix together to grey and it breaks her heart. How she wishes it was different, she prays to God most every night. And though she swears it doesn't listen. There's still a hope in her it might." ♪♫




Lately I have felt as though I am never home.  I am constantly exhausted, although I'm not really getting any less sleep than I was before and I'm really only gone about 10 hours more than usual.  Maybe it's all of the second shift hours that I've been working lately that makes me feel like I'm dying.  Either way, I'm really struggling tonight.

My husband and I have finally come to the conclusion that yes, we do want more children.  The problem here is.... when are we supposed to make these children?  Forget PCOS, forget the exhaustion....we are never home at the same time! It's pretty common knowledge that two people need to be in the same room in order to make babies. At this point I'm just so frustrated.

It's now 12:30 and I have to be up at 5am to pick Tim up from work.  Luckily I have the day off....but it really doesn't seem that way because I have a ton of laundry to do and I've fallen behind on house cleaning...to say the least. I've inhaled so much caffiene to keep me up and moving in the past few days, I might just be one big ball of "blah" by now.  This is definitely not helping in our TTC....but then again we're never home together so I guess it doesn't really matter anyways.


It's 1 am and I am "down in it" tonight.  Brains spinning around, anxiety threatening to spew over, and so overly exhausted that I cannot sleep.  Can I just get one night with my husband?  I'd give just about anything to snuggle up right about now.