No matter what, I got you back!

I was sitting here staring at this blank screen for a good twenty minutes trying to figure out what to write about today.  Lately I've written about health, DIY projects, being overwhelmed... I was thinking about writing about Tim today...but where to even begin?  Then I got a text message from a friend followed by a phone call from another one. Both completely out of step, distraught and completely opposite of how I have always seen them.  So began my post for today.....

Relationships.

We are not perfect. In fact our relationship has crashed and stumbled along many road bumps. We came close to closing our book before we had even begun to open it.  But, in five years we have grown and changed so much in our love and in our connection that I cannot deny that what is less than perfect for the world around us, is absolutely, undoubtedly perfect for us.

I remember once when I was 13 or 14 I told my mother that I hated her.  I guess I was looking for some sort of shocked response for her, instead I got, "Well, I love you but I don't like you right now either!" I guess out of the context it almost sounds means, but what it really was was a bold, real lesson about relationships and love.

There are times I really would like to strangle my husband and I would be willing to bet he has way more moments like this for me.  There were plenty of times when I thought, 'This man must either be head over heels in love with me or a complete moron!'  Whatever the reasoning behind, I'm so glad he stayed or we me never have known what we know now.

We can have a yelling match with the best of em but at the end of the day, it's always, "Kiss me good night, you're my world."  And I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.  Whether through both of our sobrieties, parenting an independent outspoken nine year old, navigating co parenting, struggling through hectic schedules or just plain learning to be exactly what the other person needs, we've come out swinging for each other.

There is no one in the world that has my back the way he does and I would do the same for him.  It might be incredibly crazy but isn't that was a relationship is supposed to be like?  I wish everyone could have that type of love.  So when my friends contacted me today I sat for a moment and I thought about my marriage and how grateful I am to have such a patient, forgiving and down right stubborn husband.

With all the things we've fought through.... we should definitely be the last ones standing.

Holly and Tim photo montage here!

Blobbity Blob!

I know, it's been forever...I apologize! (Apparently, we are now measuring forever in 30 day increments.) I've pretty much put everything on the back burner in the past few months to focus on school and being a mom and wife.  Sadly, I've also put off my own health and trying to conceive.  Instead I just wallow in my own self pitty and make a lot of excuses.


But NOT anymore!!

Last night I went out with my best friend for her birthday.  This morning I got up and looked at all the pictures we had taken and I thought... Who tell hell is that? When did I let myself get here???

This by far the heaviest I have ever been. Even taking both of my pregnancies into account. Scary! Well, enough is enough! 

I looked all over online for a good diet plan. Something to give me some structure, that would give me a template to use rather than a list of 'You definitely cannot eat this!'  So here is what I found....

PCOS Fertility Diet

For the next six months we are still without health insurance. And no health insurance means no fertility visits.  So, I know of two things that I can do in the mean time.... take care of my body, and practice! :)

Ready to quit smoking as well. But first things first: This has to go!!